Something Beautiful

For those of you who know me well, I realize that it has been no secret that I have been struggling to keep joy in my heart.  As hard as I have tried to hide my hurt, I am well aware that many of you knew.  Even more, I know that some of you have spent countless hours on your knees praying for me and a few of you have even carried some of my hurt when I just couldn't carry it anymore.  Those of you who have done this - you know who you are and I want you to know that I love you so very much. I thank God for you everyday. 

Through the past ten years of my life, I have learned what real love is all about.  I have learned what is most important.  I have learned to lean on God for my every need.  I hope that I walk away from this time of my life with grace and poise knowing that all things happen for a reason.  Maybe if I hadn't had the heartache, I wouldn't understand and know the depth of YHWH's love for me. Maybe if I hadn't had the heartache, I wouldn't appreciate my family and friends as I should.    Maybe if I hadn't had the heartache, I wouldn't see hurt in others and know to pray for them.  Maybe if I hadn't lost people I love, I wouldn't appreciate the people I have in my life now.  I don't know WHY, but I am grateful for the lessons learned. 

Holidays always seem to the be hardest for my little family.  No matter how much we prepare ourselves for special days, they are difficult at best.  I have a week off at Thanksgiving, which you would think would be a great rest, but I always dread that down time when I'm alone.  The Saturday before this Thanksgiving I found myself at an all time low.  I was miserable and scared.  Scared of what?  I'm not sure exactly.  Scared of life, I guess.  In my heart I know that God is not fear, so I got down and prayed.  I cried out to God and asked him to just take it - take all of the hurt so I could make it through the week. Now, I know that my sweet parents see my hurt, but that doesn't change the fact that I feel like I need to be strong for them.  I need to be sure and steady, at least in my mind, so they won't worry more than necessary.  Nothing makes me any more upset than to cause them to worry and fret over me. So I prayed. . .and I prayed. . .and I prayed!  HE meet with me that night. HE heard my cries and on Thanksgiving night, it all started to change!

Things are changing in my life!  Prayers are being answered!  I can see "Something Beautiful" happening.   This song says it all. . .

Thank you, YHWH YHWSH, for hearing and answering my prayer even before I knew I would need it.  Yes, you read that right - BEFORE I ever knew I would need it.  That story is coming. . .be patient - it is worth the wait, I promise!  <3